Broke Down Girl
by SilverDragonFieryFaerie
Summary: This is dark and stuff. I suggest to those of you who like everyboy the way they are: do not read this
1. Prologue

A/N: I don't even know what it's about. I just started writing it. Tell me what you think.  
  
Pick The Angel Up  
  
At the time, it had seemed like the right thing to do, and now I see what was wrong. It just hurt so much, and I had to let it out. When I had drawn that knife across the skin of my wrist, I knew. The moment I saw the blood gushing forth, I saw what the problem was. But it was too late. I died that day. It's true that my body woke up in the hospital a day later, but my soul was broken, shattered there on the floor where the blood had dried. I would always see that spot there, even though it was gone to those around me. Even when I moved out, I could still see it when I lay awake at night staring up at the ceiling.  
It all started with a simple statement: 'Riley Carlson is a slut'. I remember the exact day and time I saw it written there in purple marker in a stall in the girls bathroom. "Riley Carlson is a SLUT." It repeats in my mind to this day, like a broken record.  
Riley Carlson is a slut.  
Riley Carlson is a SLUT.  
Riley Carlson is A SLUT.  
RILEY CARLSON IS A SLUT. 


	2. Listen, I'm Screaming At You

A/N: Even if nobody liked the prologue type thingy, here's the first chapter!  
  
Chapter 1:  
Listen, I'm Screaming At You  
  
I pick at the bandage on my left wrist. Beneath, it itches, but they won't give me a pencil or something to scratch it with. It will break the stitches. Besides, they say, No sharp objects Riley. So I can't have sharp objects. But I would like someone to talk to. They all talk so fast and too much. They say they're listening, but I know. I know the truth. No one really wants to hear it. Not even mom. Not even dad. Not even chloe. Not even Manny. Nobody wants to know it. I don't understand them. They tell me to talk but don't listen.  
  
Doctor Darby comes in and says, Riley, it's time to come to group.  
  
I say, Is Will there? I like Will.  
  
Will is another person who lives here. I like him a lot. But he tried to hug me last week. I didn't let him. Don't like people touching me.  
  
Doctor Darby says, Yes Riley, Will is there.  
  
I get up from the bed and walk toward her. She helps me down the hall to the living room.  
  
***  
  
So, Riley, are you going to talk to us today? Doctor Darby says.  
  
I..., I say, later...  
  
That's great Riley, really.   
  
Doctor Darby again. I only wanna talk because Will's here. He likes to talk to me. Doesn't mind that I don't like to, he just talks and I listen. Sometimes I think I love Will. But then I remembered when I thought I loved HIM, and then Will's just my friend again.  
  
A boy in a blue sweater, and a sad smile talks about his life. His dad was never around, and his mommy was bad to him. I think she hit him, but the the boy won't say. He always wears that blue sweater, and that sad smile. I'll call him Blue. Will is talking to him. They talk and talk.   
  
Will's mommy was sad all the time. Will's step-daddy hit them. His mommy cried a lot, but then one day she wasn't there anymore. Will's step-daddy hurt his mommy real bad, and she went to heaven. That's what he told me. I know she died, even though he didn't really say it that way. I don't know why everyone thinks I'm a baby. Maybe it's because I don't talk much. I'll talk today.  
  
I don't hate him, I say.   
  
I feel bad because I interupted Blue and Will. But it just came out. Everybody looks at me. Blue wants to object, but Will stops him. He knows it's important.  
  
I don't, I say, I don't know why... but I don't even hate him.  
  
The man you said raped you? Doctor Darby asks me.  
  
You don't listen, I say, angry at her, he DID. But I don't hate him.  
  
A girl with long yellow hair and dark red lipstick says, If some bastard raped me, I'd hate the fucker.  
  
I shrug. I guess it doesn't really matter, anyway.  
  
***  
  
I lay in my room. It's nighttime outside, and the starts are pretty. New moon, so they are the only lights out there. My wrist hurts a lot, but I don't think it's from the cut. I think it's from the remembering. It was stars and no moon that night. very pretty sky. Maybe the same sky. But why should it be? I could ask someone, but people don't believe in anything anymore, especially not me. Tommorrow is Wednesday, visit day. I think maybe I'll see my family. I hope they still love me.   
  
A/N: Thanks for all your wonderful reviews, and as far as flames go, if you don't like it, that's fine with me. But I would greatly appreciate it if you would not be rude about it. Maybe you could even politely tell me how to make it better? Anyway, thanks again. I love you all! ^_^  
  
Bai!  
~Silver 


End file.
